I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Randomize
