Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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