there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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