i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
