true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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