He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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