I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
