Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
