Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
