I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
