it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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