Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His nipple licking is glorious
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