Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are two peas in an std pod
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
