thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
