I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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