i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
