it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
