I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
