Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
