What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Alive.
So much puke
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
