I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Randomize
