dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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