It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
