Whoa Z and x make the same sound
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
