my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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