if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
