i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
