never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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