I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
