i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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