just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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