He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
