dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
