Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
