Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
