Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
