remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
