Porn is love you can see.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
