Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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