so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So much rum. So many feels.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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