kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
