I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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