I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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