so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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