I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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