His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
