God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
