it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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