u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
