does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We have started to decorate penises.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
