The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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