Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
